


Several Bad Puns Later

by natodiangelo



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natodiangelo/pseuds/natodiangelo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. +Infuriated

**Author's Note:**

> This is exactly what is explained in the title: Bad Puns. I wrote short stories for some puns I came up with.
> 
> (cross posted on FFN)

Furihata, his face red with anger, stormed out of the gym, slamming the door behind him.

"I guess he's... inFURIated." Izuki punned. The rest of the team groaned. "What? That was a good one!"


	2. +Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((warning: kagakuro))

"Kuroko... would you, maybe, l-like to...go on a date...or something?" Kagami stuttered, his face as red as his hair.

"Kagami-kun... this is unexpected..." Kuroko's face looked faintly pink. "I-I would love to."

Kagami smiled, relieved.

-

Kagami held the door open for Kuroko, showing off his gentlemanly-ness.

"Thank you, Kagami-kun." Kuroko murmered as he walked inside.

A waiter showed them to their table and gave them menus, saying that someone will come to take their orders in a moment.

Kagami soon found out that a moment meant fifty years.

Or at least that's how long it felt to him.

By the time their food actually came, Kagami was dying.

"Thank god!" he said as he digged into his ramen.

Suddenly, Izuki appeared from under the edge of the table, causing both first years to choke.

"rAMEN" he whispered before disappearing under the table again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading


	3. +demonstration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know why i never posted this one

The coach really was the devil, everyone on Seirin basketball team had to admit. Hyuuga probably knew her the closest, and yet even he hadn't found a side of her that wasn't monstrous... in an entirely good way, he means.

Even with the already intense training regimen, she thought it wasn't enough and made everyone run extra laps...AND learn a new technique. All in one afternoon!  
Before they even got to the new move they were exhausted, with only six players left alive (Koganei passed out after finishing his laps, the first year trio had each given up a little before Koga, and Kuroko was dead barely two laps after the normal amount). As it was, even Kagami could hardly stand, his legs shaking whenever he tried.

It wouldn't be an overstatement to say that they would all be dead in the end, with Riko laughing over their lifeless bodies.

Which she kinda was doing now as she started her demonstration.

"More like DEMONstration..." Izuki managed.

And although they all groaned at that, they couldn't really deny it.


	4. +punishment

"Why, Itsuki?! Why???!" Koganei cried, dropping to the ground for dramatic effect. "Your puns... they suck! Why must you torture us like this?!"

Izuki stepped up to the fallen second year, playing the villian of this two person play.

"It's your..." he whispered. " **pun** ishment..."

Everyone (the rest of the team) groaned and looked away, unable to watch their... foolhardiness anymore.


	5. +you're right

"...Please don't tell me we're lost." Furihata sighed, hoping that they would find their way soon.

"We are defiantly not lost." Fukuda said as he turned the map as though the right path might suddenly appear.

"Then where are we?" Kawahara asked.

"Don't know..." Fukuda turned the map again.

"...we're lost..." the two first years sighed.

Suddenly, Fukuda gasped. "I think it's this way! To the right!" he yelled, running ahead.

As he turned the corner he ran into a figure, who turned out to be Izuki.

Fukuda started to apologize but Izuki interrupted him.

"...You're right." he said.

"What?" Fukuda asked.

"no, no... that doesn't really work...great..." Izuki put his hand to his chin, obviously thinking.

"What?" Furihata also said, him and Kawahara catching up with Fukuda.

After a while more of muttering, Izuki grabbed his head. "NO!" he yelled, falling to his knees. "THIS SHOULD BE NO BIG PROBLEM FOR ME, THE GREAT PUN MASTER! AND YET... and yet..." tears starting forming in their senpai's eyes. "I can't come up with a pun for this... am I losing it? Am I finally going...? No... this cannot be...!" He pulled his notebook from seemly nowhere and flipped through the pages.

"uh..." Fukuda let out. He glanced at the other two, then back at their now fully freaking out upperclassman. "Let's go..."

They slowly back away.

-

Later they told coach and Hyuuga about Izuki's breakdown. Neither of them seemed fazed at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the joke izuki was trying to make was 'right is right' but i guess he didnt think it was a quality pun sigh


	6. +nice

Izuki lowered himself into the ice, tensing even though of the sigh that left his lips.

"This feels n-ice~" He said, sighing again.

A groan was heard and Izuki looked around but couldn't see anyone. "Oh come on!" He yelled. Not even the air could stand his puns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor izuki i feel you man


	7. +"Izuki, why do you even try anymore?"

"Izuki, why do you even try anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your puns. You know no one likes them, so why do you still come up with them?"

"Let me tell you a story. Long ago, in a far away land, there once lived a King. The Queen had passed away some time ago, and the King, falling into a depression, found a nanny to   
take care of his children. The nanny became like a new mother to the kids, and they never found themselves missing their old parent. They all, however, wished for their fathers attention. They would fight, do stupid things, get hurt, but it did not draw their fathers eyes. One day, the youngest, but not the smartest, said to their father "If a man was born in Greece, raised in Spain, and died in America, what would he be?" The King thought for a long moment, before saying that he had no idea. The child then said "Dead." The King froze upon hearing the answer, but then began laughing. The rest of his children had been watching the youngest, and were surprised at the outcome. Seeing that their father liked riddles and jokes, they began thinking them up at once, and even paid people to come up with puns for them. Finally, they had found something to get their father's attention!"

"...And?"

"I am a descendant of one of those children, and as such it runs in my blood to tell puns."

"But it was a joke, not a pun..."

"It does not matter! It is all the same: taking words and bending them to your command, taking control over what they mean and how they sound! It's like doing magic!"

"I guess that sounds kinda cool, in a completely ridiculous way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wildly shrugs shoulders*


	8. +tearable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was in a writing mood so enjoy something longer
> 
> also i was trying to bold "pure genius" but like the whole paragraph is bolded now and i cant get it to go back im not sure if its just me but ill see if i can fix it (((((might also be the skin i have ive got the reverse one with white words on black so im not sure))))))

With the new school year coming up with alarming quickness, the Seirin High School Basketball team converged to make posters to bring in new people.  
  
"Let's use blue." Kawahara said, looking through the supplies everyone had brought.  
  
"School colors are red and black," Hyuuga told him.  
  
"And white," Riko added, leaning back to think. "Use white paper, and write on it with black and red."  
  
Everyone agreed, and so it was onto the design.  
  
However, in the corner by himself Izuki was having a hard time breathing. This was it. This was the moment to use a pun he'd been waiting to use since he'd first came up with it. Even the thought of being able to say it sent him into fits of glee, almost giggling with excitement.  
  
Not that he wasn't like this for every pun he got to say.  
  
With the stealth of a ninja in broad daylight Izuki swiped a slip of paper and a large black marker from the table, crawling back to his place away from everyone. He then uncapped the utensil dramatically. In his mind's eye he could see himself: foolishly handsome with his hair stylishly mussed, a glint in his eye that anime characters got when doing something mischievous. Thinking of himself as an anime character just added another trickle of joy down his spine, and he quickly wrote two short words down on the paper before standing up. He rejoined the group and surveyed his potential targets.  
  
Experience told him that the second years don't enjoy **pure genius **as much as pure genius needs to be enjoyed, though Riko sometimes gave a laugh if she was in a good mood. He looked over at Furihata, Kawahara, and Fukuda: the First Year Trio (minus Kagami and Kuroko), who were always with each other. Currently they were all grouped around the poster they're working on, talking amongst themselves as they wrote and colored.  
  
 _Bingo, _Izuki thought. They often became the receiving end of Izuki's jokes; Izuki liked them more than his fellow seconds years for his puns, simply because they didn't brush him off like Hyuuga (when in truth, they were just scared of being rude to an upperclassman).__  
  
**** Izuki swaggered up to the three, who looked up at his gleeful expression with uncertainty.  
  
"Hello, Izuki-senpai," Furihata said with hesitation. Izuki swelled a little at the senpai, but he kept his cool; puns were always better when you kept a completely blank face.  
  
"Did you know that my puns are not only horrible," he started, and pulled out the paper labeled "My Puns," making sure that they could read it. "They're also tearable." With a dramatic flourish he ripped the paper in half. He stood there for a moment, taking in the perfection of that set up, oblivious to the incredulous looks coming his way.  
  
It was another couple seconds before anyone said anything.  
  
"Ha ha," Fukuda laughed weakly. "That was a good one."  
  
 _Mission success. _Izuki went back to his area with his head held high.__


End file.
